exercise creativity/ROUTINE/happiness

I have been incredibly bored.

Yes, its only Monday.

But I have no way to exercise my creativity.

I come home...and just want to make music, or to make a movie, or to draw all over my walls in permanent marker....but I can't for various reasons.

Music: I can't record anymore/No one will play with me

Movies: The camera is not compatible with my computer/No one will help me

Draw all over my walls with permanent marker: My mom won't let me (she literally walked in the instant I was about to...)


I want to exercise my creativity somehow...I might just completely tear apart my room and redo the walls and carpet and everything....



Next problem...I feel so blatantly bored because of ROUTINE.

I'm falling back into it and I DONT WANT TO.

Routine makes the days blur...I have no memories with it.

Nothing is ever fun with routine...its just...routine....

Routine makes me secure though, but incredibly bored with life. I get ravished, and hunger for something to just happen.


NEXT.

Onto happiness.


I have roughly four friends.

I haven't seen much of three of them this summer.

Yep pretty much shelby, but I can't complain, she's pretty much amazing x 2.

Brian needs to come home.

Dave needs to come out of hiding.

Cheyenne just needs to wash windows.

And Shelby needs to hitch rides anyway she can. LAWL.

Yeah so pretty much you all need to be in my basement...all the time.

Summer is depressing...I miss traditioning with the fellas.



Anyway, Ima end this now.



Sunday = best sunday evaaaaaaaaar

Mammoth (OLTA)/Saturday

Yeahhhhh saturday..............


Very interesting day so far I must say.

I woke up and contemplated what to eat.

I ate nothing.

I got really bored and wanted to freak my family out and possibly tan doing so.

I decided to make some cutoffs and put on my weird mullet hat/wig thingy.

I then mowed the lawn, yelling at my mother for general things....soda....sandwich....etc...

It's a shame my neighborhood is ten times worse that what I tried to be today, so they were unaffected and therefore my plan was a failure.

In more way that one too.

It took around 20 minutes to mow the lawn....so I didn't tan.

At all.

OH well, I don't mind being a farmer.

Jake and I have been sitting around now, watching the office, hot fuzz, arrested development, conan, and playing guitar hero.

Its weird how I want to go do outside during the week, but I feel too lazy on the weekends.

LOLZ.




Yep, well now I'm bored and hopefully I'll do something tonight.








Hopefully.

Our Love to Admire

Interpol's new album is now in my hands.


I love it...............


BEYOND BELIEF.



And lately I've been kind of oblivious to other peoples thoughts etc.

So I'm going to be a bit more attentive to things like that.

I still feel shitty, but I'm itching to feel super good.

do do do do do do do

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh




i need to remember how im supposed to be optimisticccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc







shiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Mrs. Featherbottom

Oh god.

I love it.

man o man

I may have a creative output on many things, but knowing what to do is not one of them.

Yeah I usually just sit around after work.

Then I get all depressed and wish I wasn't so introverted.

I'm just scared of another shitty summer.

Kind of retarded how the memory of a wasted summer can totally kill you with paranoia.

I think I'm just going to start biking around again.

It's something to do, plus if I get hardcore again and take it to the mountains I'll be in shape and feel good for football.

Anyway, this is just me venting. It helps with my paranoia.


Poor Jake at bball camp, he sounds depressed.

But his two friends there are seniors from Manhattan and Big Timber, haha, so he's got it made in the food chain at least.

Bat for Lashes/Creamies are YUM

I haven't blogged since Tuesday or so.

Oh em gee.

Thursday

Thursday I went to Elliston.
(I have no pictures though, It'd would have detracted from the experience and time to take pictures, haha)

I wasn't as scared this time, it was awesome.

Shelby was worried that I was bored the whole time, but I had lots of fun.

We went to Robert's Roost, where I saw a phantom bear and she got deathly scared haha.

We then ran into Rylee on the way back, and so she came along with us on our adventures.

We went to the "trampoline"...which was uber sweet.

We caught a snail also.

Then we caught Sutton and Sawyer spying on us.

Haha, I don't care how evil anyone says they are...I like those two haha.

After that we went back to the Johnson residence and....guess....PLAYED GUITAR HERO!!!

Haha, it was still fun. CEPT SOMEONE HAAAD TO EFF UP JESSICA....

Rylee then had to go home I guess, so we sat around clueless for a while.

We decided to go to Lily Lake for a tad.

That place was pretty bitchin, won't lie.

It's like a secret haha.

We kinda explored that area a bit, then headed back to the Johnson residence yet again.

This time Shelby's super awesome mom asked if I was hungry.

I wanted to deny it, buuut....I was haha.

We both scarfed a pizza and some ice cream cake.

Both of which were superb.

Then we went to Big Rock.

Not to swim, just to sit.

Eventually a few fellows stopped by.

We got attacked by a young fisherman and talked to Jess ( I think...I'm bad with names ) for a long time.

Eventually Rylee came by and she joined the convo.

Then I started gangin up on Shelby with Jess and we tore her apart verbally, poor girl.

We also threw rocks at her for a long time, I'm such a good boyfriend.

Anyway, at about 9:30, I had to leave, so I brought her home then left for home myself.

It was a super awesome day I'd have to say.

Friday

Friday I went to work.

My boss had the day off, so I literally had nothing to do.

There was literally no one in the building I was at.

I just went home after about an hour.

When I got home my sister, mom, and brother were all contemplating on whether to go to Helena or Butte.

If we went to Helena, we would most definitely visit my grandpa and Jake and I would probably see a movie while the women did some superb shopping.

If we went to Butte, we would go to Wal Mart, Hastings, then home with a headache.

Of course we vied for the latter.



The highlight was eating at Mackenzie River Pizza Co.

Our waiter was too nice though.

I was getting annoyed with her nice gestures. Haha. Irony.

Jake and I completely dicked off in Wal Mart.

We would blast the most ridiculous music possible on the kiosks and headbang as hard as possible in the aisle.



Etc etc.

We then went to the mall, where Jake and I just sat in the car, dreaming up incredulous stories and macking on our melting ice cream bars.


Next up was Hastings.

While there, Jake and I just kept pointing out scary people.

One kid had a crazy rat tail dealie.

Another two were getting kinda friendly/randy playing Spiderman on the demo kiosk.

Of course I blatantly took a picture of them as loudly and obviously as possible.



As you can see they were very well occupied and were not aware of my presence.



Following this escapade was the wonderful trip home, where I fell asleep in the vehicle dreaming of fucked things.

My dream is as follows:

(I am at a grocers market, one resembling an awkward fusion of Safeway and Valley Foods. Some reason I am with a weird kid. He is a real person. I do not know his name. He is an incoming Freshman. Blonde, short, stubby, ugly as all hell. I wander around the store with a few friends including David, Brian, Joe, Shelby, and Cheyenne. This strange child keeps following us as we decide what we are going to buy with our recently acquired money. The homely child then decides to ask me questions, end after end. As I walk through the market, my friends slowly get annoyed and leave, one by one. I am alone with the child now. He is still asking questions. I slowly get annoyed also, but I do not say anything as a subliminal way to retain integrity. Sadly, I am not able to withstand such emotional stress. This young man is starting to really piss me off. We are now in the vegetable section of the twisted grocery. I start barking back at this child's demands in an effort to dissuade him from questioning me further. He is not moved by my remarks. This frustrates me to the point of physical action. I, for some odd reason, decide to put the child in a headlock between my legs. He is barely able to breath as his face is encompassed almost entirely by my soft cheeks. Yet....he is laughing. Strangely at that. To investigate this awkward behavior I gaze down at the victim's face.

It is my brother....)

Yeah so my dream was pretty much weird as all hell. I doubt I'll ever be the same again.

Joking.

Anyway, the rest of the day I sat around and watched the movie "The Fly".

Sadly the movie was cut off around 20 minutes from the ending.

This left me in a state of dismay and pissed-off-edness.

Saturday would be better.

Saturday

Territorial DAYYYYS booyeeee.


They are ghey.

I do not know what to say about this day.



It was fun.

I went to the parade in the morning, my sister was on a float.

I saw some very fat people.

One lady had her individual fups tucked down each of her short legs.

I almost threw up with laughter.

I then went home for a while.




Jessica then texted me in astonishment that I was not down there.

She then came to get me.

We walked around for a while then went to the baseball games.

It was hot there and boring.

So we all went home for a power nap.

It totally fugged up my day.

I was drowsy the rest of the night.

Joe called me eventually and I met with him to go down to the street again.

We just wandered forever, eating along the way.

Yum for ribbon fries/snowcones.

Dave was back too so we hung with him, but I just got tired of the fact we were just standing there, not even talking, with friends leaving one by one, so I went home.

Dave called me after he was done with Sadee, and we headed to B's house.

Played like 3 songs each on Guitar Hero then left for home again.



As drowsy as I was I stayed up until about 4 watching various movies and writing various things/ideas and getting scared by Shelby's cousin.

I finally decided to go to sleep after a text from Cheyenne saying I must be a loser if I was still up or something along those lines.

I slept on that shitty futon in the basement for the last two days some reason.

Idk.

Sunday

It was Fathers Day today.

We got my father a bird book, so he can identify them instead of question me endlessly and relentlessly no matter how many times I tell him every bird is a "Blue-Footed Booby"

We also got him two packs of tasty ice cream treats.

The are called "Creamies".

Inside joke stuff here, don't ask.

They are actually very good.



Anyway, after musing around at home, we decided to take a family hike on the east side of town.

It was quite amusing.

Instantly we ran into a baby fawn and accidentally separated her from the parents.

Marne wanted to cry.

I wanted to make jokes about Marne crying.

Also about her weight. ( Which is not bad, I do this out of natural sibling inhibitions Marne, its never true)



We hiked to the top of the mountain...and it was good. BAHAHAHA. Beavis and Butthead reference there.

Well anyway it was a good hike and now I'm back home, writing this abnormally long blog.

Jake is not here, he has been at Concordia basket ball camp.

He will be here tonight and we will take him to Scharfs for food.






Then he will leave again for another basketball camp.

It is very sad not having him around.

Hopefully I will manage.

This week all my friends are back...minus Brian again.

He is off to nerd/engineering camp for 11 days.

Cuh-razy.

Oh well, I will manage this week.




Hopefully I will see Shelby too.

And hang out with Daver a few times after work.

It will be a good summer.

I just need to get into a comfortable routine.

Even though I complain about routine once I get into it.

But I guess its my safe, little, imaginary box.

And its much better inside.








Man I sound autistic.

300 Miles from Wyoming, a kid is happy.

YEAAAAAAAAAAH.


(Butt ton of vids at end of post)


My job is actually pretty cool.

There is lots of cool shit I get to do.

And I'm starting to actually see people now.


NICK for one...we dicked off during the whole teacher's tour dealie.

I did pay attention during the preservation speech by David Beaver.


Yes...David Beaver...not only a sweet ass name, but you gotta see this guy.

He's so badass its not even funny.

And he's got the craziest accent ever.

Awesome dude.




Anyway yeah, today I just went through newspapers all morning looking for GRKO related articles.

I found three articles out of probably 500 newspapers.

It was so cool and I have to write this down or I'll forget, I found the first article in the Standard on Shelby's birthday.


And it was funny cause I was thinking that whole time, oh her birthday paper is coming up, how cool would that be to find the first article in there.

Sure enough I did...anyway thats kinda creepy so enough of that haha...

After that I went to lunch...talked to my disgruntled parents, made pizza, and went back.

That's when I got to sit in on the teacher's dealie.

It was pretty cool cause Marne, Nick, and Rikki were all there.



It was nice having some people that were easy to talk to, my shyness is gay.

Anyway, yeah we learned about cultural resources and structural preservation.



There were teachers from all over there.

Garrison, Anaconda, Deer Lodge, etc.

Gary Swant was one of them.

He's obsessed with abstinence.

Only because he had his own kid before marriage and his ear was messed up or something so they blamed it on that.

Now hes crazy about tellin that message.



Kinda a selfish message coming from him though.


I would hate to be his kid...like it'd be great to be reminded everyday that your ear is fucked up and that its not a good thing and people will shame you for it...all because Gary got a raging boner (minus condom) before marriage. I don't even know why you would plan to have a kid before marriage anyway. That kinda fugged with me. Generally if you arent married, you don't want to have kids. Apparently he did....







Anyway Gary would just interrupt the speakers every 2 seconds for a generic question wrapped up linguistically. He would then try to put himself above everyone by adding to the answers or "politely" correcting someone whos worked there for quite a fucking long time.

Anyway Gary, I guess you just annoy the shit outta me.


Yeah we then got to explore the resources building and see all the crazy shit in there...there is a shit ton, no lie.

I love it, I just explore back there all the time and discover something new everytime.

My favorite thing was the old school sex doll thingy haha...those cowboys must've been pretty lonely.

After thoroughly exploring every section of that building, Marne, Nick, Rikki, and I went down to look at "Shaky" the calf, and feed the chicks.




That was pretty cool...afterwards Nick kept stalking Beauregard, the cat (who I saw fuckin own a mouse, so badass).

We then went to the chuckwagon and had some rice and cowboy coffee while waiting for David Beaver.

Dave talked forever about preservation, it was pretty cool.

We even went into the ranch house's basement to hear his schpeel on how he saved it.




Around 3:30, Marne and I went to feed Shaky.

I had to lure him into the barn with the bottle, which took forever cause he's a stubborn son of a bitch.

Then he proceeded to ram/drool/fart on me.

It was gross, yet adorable.

Anyway, I was done with the work day after that.

I went back to the resources building to get my bike and pedaled home.






WAS GOOD.




Tomorrow I'm looking forward to.

I get to see Shelby for the first time in FOREVER....well not really, but the days have been dragging on and getting monotonous since I started.


Oh well, once I get more comfortable and get a routine going I'm sure I'll be able to satisfy allll my needs(friends/shelby/videogames...hehe) efficiently.


GAHD, I need to see the fellas too, too bad they're all GONE.


Disneyworld? C'mon dave...how old are you?

ME JOKE.






Brian + Gay Roommate = HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHBA









PEACE.






(I changed the template...not because I wanted to...Transformers are awesome and they compete with my passion for females, but the template was toooo squished so I said eff it. YA KNOW.)






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(shitty quality, I know....)

Work(it is boring[so far])/video attempt (soon)

I started work today.

Yes, at Grant Kohrs Ranch.

I'm not getting paid.

For two weeks.

So, being a dumbass, I decided to volunteer until then.

Boy that was silly of me.

Just kidding, I probably wouldn't be doing much else, so its no big deal.

Work just kinda pisses you off even if you have the best job in the world, ya know?

Well, I do not have the best job in the world, but it certainly is leaps and bounds ahead of last year's.

I don't even know why I'm complaining at all, my workday mainly consisted of walking around or easy computer work.

Well I'll just tell you how it went.

I got there and filled out paperwork for a while since I'm volunteering.

Next, I configured my computer settings and password, etc.

After that I followed a group tour of Missoula 7th graders until lunch.

I really think I creeped them out.

They were whispering and pointing the whole time.

ANYWAY, after lunch I came back and did MORE paperwork, then ran around the ranch getting things and meeting people.

Kinda funny, I know like 5 people working there and didn't see them all day, even though I was walking around.

After that I read two complete histories on the place then watched two video histories on the place.

Oh yeah, then I moved a table and was done for the day.


Wasn't bad.







WEDNESDAY I SEE SHELBY YAYYYY.

bark at the MOON

dannnananananannana NUH nananan NUH nanan NUH nananan NAAAAA


school is DONE


except i didnt check out

and im supposed to

but im not going to

caaaause i dont care enough



so TOO BAD MARLENE SWANT.


i do not know how im going to go about doing things this summer.

or how it will be.

im speculating and hoping that its amazing and full of awesome times.



hanging out with shelby lots lately has been super cool, even though i never know what to do.....haha oh well we have fun anyway

ha after we hung out today we had a guitar hero session with me, shelbs, chy, maddison, and brian.

it was super cool, we were in the back yard, exposed to the elements and whatnot, we really rough it.

after that i went inside for like 3 hours and paced.

then jake and i went walking to safeway and got some SPORTS DRINKS

i had sobe tea ORANGE SPICE, eff yes yum

after that joe called and said LETS BBQQQQ

and i said yes


he came over with a shit ton of food

then dave came

then brian came

and we ate


we also played guitar hero until 10



NOW IM BORED












ARGH

this is awesome

you can't worship god before reading the bible

school is nearing its end.


and i dont feel so irresponsible anymore.

why?

hhoooomework is nooooo moreeee.

cept for that fuggin 30 line essay silliman you dairy farmer.

well since dave blogged extensively about life i thought i might.


ill try.

its gonna be dumb.



Life is purrrrrty darn good. I have no real stresses, other than some friends are kinda drifting away, but I'm not gonna try and alter any changes. If I did nothing would feel right. Either way, I'm probably drifting away too, getting new friends, and they're all pretty awesome. I think a lot of it has to do with principles. Oh well though. Anyway, school was good...no, AWESOME this year. Started out pretty slow and depressing, then I high fived a special girl and from there on it was awesome. Well, after my paranoia bouts it was, that was quick though. She is super awesome and I feel really good about us cause its not just one of brigid's friends who developed a crush on me and me, being a lonely bastard back in the day, went straight in blindfolded. Yep, this one is good because its a mutual thing, not "OH I HEARD THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE" dealie. Oh, also, I CAN'T get whipped by her, cause she lives MILES AWAY HAHAHAH, so if you were thinking it, GO CRY ME A RIVER! keehee



ANYWAY, onto my friends. Daves always gonna be the super buddy, we have the gayest sense of humor evARRRR, and it never gets old to us. Raining bunnies. Guitar Hero. Making fun of other people. Its allll good.




Brian THOPM....I've got no pics cause hes a damn nerd. BUT, hes a cool fella and I dig his outlook on life and his hardworking principles. Hes also the goofiest kid ever conceived. I kid you not. A good kid to hang around, he's a good influence. LADIES, hes a hidden gem I kid you not.

NVM found a pic.

JOE stefalo...I'm so sorry Joe. I'm such a dick to you sometimes. BUUTT, its all outta love you gotta know. Joes a good kids, he's got some pretty good principles, nothing next to B's haha, but he's overall an awesome kid and easy to get along with....unless your name is Mandi.



Barg....what a silly goose. The only girl with a man's brain...or at least understanding. Shes lots of fun, kinda nuts, very kiddy, and overall very silly and diabetic.




Gaaaaaarick Thomp....This kid pwns the world. Tough guy extraordinaire, and braniac. Kinda sad he doesn't really hang with the old crew anymore, but he's still fun at school and whatnot. Maybe we'll see more of him next year.



Anton ROWE...man I probably pissed him off so much by stopping WoW twice, but I couldn't make the time. Maybe this summer Ton. Funniest fella I've ever met. I don't have any pictachrueurehss.....

And Jake...my brother...this kid IS my best friend...tied with Dave, haha. We also have the weirdest sense of humor, but people tend to understand this one a bit more. We do almost everything together now, and I'm trying to include him in everything becauuuse HE WILL BE IN HIGH SCHOOL NEXT YEAR EYAHHHAHFHAAH!!!






Honorable Mention: Cheyenne Kroll....man you are my gripe buddy. We just complain to eachother for the most part. Otherwise we argue, oh well its all fun. Oh, and to everyone who knows her, she isn't the meanest person ever. If you've ever been around her the same time as David Phillips at midnight, then you will know Cheyenne hahaha.....
The only pic I have of her is with shelby SO DEAL WITH IT>....




MAN, i can smell the garilic int he aslkdjfalskjf other room.........


time for food, fuck the blog.




i was done anyway....................................................I DONT WANT TO GROW UP.




goonight.





oh yes.. i forgot......i win because i convinced you it was about your lesbian antics.

ah i understand my "argh?" now

i realized why i was so depressed last night and through this morning.

i'm having a mid high school crisis.

in exactly one year, i will graduate.

this depresses me to the extreme.

i have so much i love about life right now, and most things i only recently came to appreciate.

i wish i would have done so much more now that i think about it.

but i still have one year.

so im going to do my best to hold onto what i have and make it the best fuggin year of my life.

being depressed about it the whole time wont do anything for me.

so help me out all, lets have fun, starting with summer!





YEAH I FEEL GOOD.

argh?

i'm very stressed and sad feeling right now and honestly I dont know why.

its midnight though and im tired and delirious, so thats probably it.

either way its not fun...but i dont wanna sleep.


argh?