Dashboard (Retro/Instrumental/Modern)

La de da de da.

I hate bipolar people.

La de da de da.*


*not an error/not a real song






EN-EE_UAY

Lets get to the heart of tonight's (" 's " shows possesive form) ENTREE.

HAHAHA OMG pun.

I really don't know what to say.

I have lots of stuff going on in my life right now.

A lot to look forward to.

And a lot to dread.





In both situations, I may be overreacting.



In some ways I hope I am, but in others, I hope I'm not.





About the stuff to look forward to.

I'm really excited.

I hope I'm right.

And if I am.

I really hope I don't screw up the situation.

That would really blow.

I would actually feel pretty shitty throughout the rest of high school if I messed up.

But remember, I'm confident now.








Lets just hope** I can "get my shit together."







I was gonna go on a lot longer, but I really don't want to gripe forever about the bad shit going on, because most of it really isn't worth it, and because focusing on the bad makes me less of a man.








**see past entries




By the way I had fun with the bold option in this entry, get over it.







----------------------------------------------james

meh

Merry Mas

Its been a fun filled weekend.

Full of false hope, and bitter disappointment (self induced)

But also loads of ass kicking fun with Sean, Dirt, Dboy, and Ton.



Do you ever think you really shouldn't even bother with something?

I do, but I really don't care about much anymore, so I deal and try anyway.

Because, what have I got to lose?

Everything I do have is not associated with the problem, so its worry free.

And I'll keep going until my face is smashed into the pavement.




Next.


I'm tired of being treated like an item.

I feel like I'm being used as a vent, and to me, its shallow.

Everyone has problems, including myself.

If mine are brought up, they're shot down as insignificant, maybe not consciously, but still.

What the hell, your problems aren't even that crazy.

Parents beat their children everyday.

They do fucking drugs.

They live in a shit hole.

They have no future, and its not their fault.

Don't over blow these situations.

Learn to be happy with what you have, because what you have is amazing.

And its not fair.

At least you've had opportunities.

At least you've had a chance.

Don't get me wrong, I like to help.

And care about you deeply, insanely.

But you're killing yourself and its frustrating.

You call yourself a christian.

Act like one.

Because whether God is real or not, I couldn't tell you.

He must be frustrated too.

You have an amazing life.

He's given you so much.

Sure there is drama, but what the hell.

Put a rat and cat in a cage and shit will happen.

I've subtly, friendly, tried to tell you this before.

You didn't understand.

Now I feel like I have to pound it straight into your skull.

Do I feel remorse?

Right now, yes.

Will I if you finally get the picture?

No.

Bear vs Shark*

Lift the weights B-tomp. Lift the weights.

Look at me being all motivational and homoerotic. Ick.


Its a fucking ownin band, thank you Sean for introducing me to them like a year ago.

I just remembered them today, and damn I was missing out.


ANNNYWHOOO. Onto the meat and potatoes.

All is pretty good.

Socially.

Academically (sort of I'm slacking a bit)

Etc-ally.


The only real gripe I have is how repetitive life is lately.

Its school, then compy/homework/gametime/tutor until sleep.

I enjoy it all, but I want change you know.

And I'm really aiming for it.

For one, I'm trying to be more social...and so far its been good albeit pissing my parents off maha.

I am also becoming much less shy than before, and I don't feel like I've become more of an ass doing so. It is totally blowing my mind in retrospective awesomeness.


I feel more like an individual now, than ever. jiz jizzzkjizzz.


I wish mail was instantaneous.


Then I'd have a new Achewood hoodie and shirts.

ANyway, time to pimp this entry.

Peace.



*this entry is boring

Spider fuckin suck.

Especially robot ones....

They're everywhere.

And their webs are gross.

Speaking of webs, I hate the webs trust and friendship create.

What am I talking about?

I hate the he said she said gossip, and how I'm not supposed to tell one person something because someone said so, but I feel obligated to because of the close friendship we have.

And not to brag or anything, but I'm generally liked/somewhat trusted by lots of people.

I hope.

And I'm sorry if I piss people off cause they feel like I lie or shit, but most the time its because I have to, because I already promised someone else who trusted me that I wouldn't say anything, etc etc.

FUCKS WITH MY FUCKIN MIND.


This makes my brain go "WHEEEEE" - Robbie Dawson

Sometimes I wish people just wouldn't tell me stuff, so I don't get hurt, but I get hurt anyway because they don't tell me and I feel like they should because we have a trust thing.


GOOOD DAMMMMN.

And so ENDS my GRIPE.




Anyway I really like this girl.

Or I really like the thought of liking this girl, because shes pretty damn awesome. Easy to talk to, smart etc.

Then again I could be getting brainwashed again OH NOES.




WTF I don't even care if I get hurt, I just want some memories.

Then again I could cause hurt...but to me it seems like the lessons learned would be worth it.


Just wish I wasn't so shy, eh, oh well.


END of BLOG.