where did the carefree lifestyle and weekly showers go

I've been thinking. About how we change and what not.

What do I do now that I would never think of in junior high?











For one I swear like a damn maniac.


Fuck(in JH) = Satan
No joke, I would get mad giggles if anyone said anything profain.
Now its not just verbal, men are grabbing asses, punching nuts. Its not cool.
But whatever I guess.






Two, I don't feel as creative as I used to.

That makes me sad. I miss the video camera days. The gorilla suits. Drawing stupid shit that makes sense to no one...


About drawing shit though, I've been doing more of that lately, because I love it and I can be as fucked up as I want with my drawings. They really don't mean anything.
Maybe subconsciously, because I start with a line, that leads to a circle, that leads to an
alligator hand eating daniels pez dispensing head. You know, typical stuff. (Dan and I have
been planning to scan and upload some stuff, so watch for that)






Three...I need stuff to do.


A hobby...or something. I mean, what the hell? I play video games, and surf the internet.
Play football, but thats not long term...People, help me. I need something. A few years back I remember always having something do to...skateboarding, making music, etc. Suggestions,
playdates...please....






Four. Overcoming my shyness is backfiring.



Getting over my brick wall of social inabilities has been tough, but gradually I'm becoming
more open and umm, fun? With this comes drawbacks though. I feel the less shy I become,
the more of an asshole I seem to be. Fair? Nope, but whatever, life is a stick in the ass in
general. And I feel as I complain about other shitheads, I become a hypocrite, only
condemning myself. So, because of this, I've been hesitant lately, with many things I say...but, whatever.






Five. Girls aren't the goal in life anymore.




Jesus, I remember getting so depressed in junior high, because I was such a damn loner. But it
was true, I was really shy (still not good with girls), and I knew I would probably be that way
for a long time. This was crushing. I remember lonnnng talks with mother and whatnot, they cured me temporarily, but something dad said, or something I saw at school would always
bring back the stick in the ass. This depression continued until I actually had a real girlfriend during the summer of 2006. I was happy. Until I got dumped and realized how god damn
brain washed I was. Now women are whatever to me. I'm gonna be really damn picky, but
thats the way it should be. Don't become the friend. (ha dave) The thing is, its not my
motivation for life as it was in JH. Weird eh? How such desirable things can also be such
fucking ripoffs? Cuh-razy shit.





Six. Does not count. I still have my principles.



I will not do drugs. I will not drink. I will not do things unessacary in general.
Why should I start drinking if I can be happy and have fun not doing it? Why risk so much for a fun little buzz? If you do it responsibly, then whatever, have fun. Just don't fucking
spraypaint shit, and break windows. I'll just stick to doing the millions things that make more sense to me I guess.



Seven. Eight.

There are so many changes that have gone on, subconsciously or not.

Its fucking crazy.

It really gets me thinking about how I'm gonna be in 6 years.





You could probably tell me better than anyone.




Well, I have to do homework, and writing this has taken me much longer than it should have.

Sleep awaits.


Peathe.